Last day

Tired, hungover and miserable. That pretty much describes us all this morning. We'd got in about 2am a little worse for wear and it was now 8am. Stupid mornings!
We have to be in Santander for 2pm and it's a four hour ride on the motorway not including any stops, so we needed to get moving.
We opted for a simple breakfast to avoid yesterday's cheese incident so croissants it is.
We were soon on the road and somehow for the first time during the trip we didn't get lost. Steve did try his best to sort this out though and we had a few last minute trips across the chevrons.
There are a lot of signs along the motorway about deers jumping into the road yet we didn't spot any signs for giant eagles diving in front of you to pick at the roadkill.
It's got to be said that even the motorways in Spain are stunning. Some of the views are fantastic as we cut through the mountains and passed the ocean side towns.
We got to the ferry with loads of time to spare, eventually rocking up at 1:59. Mark did a John Terry and took the lead with 200 yards to go to claim credit.
On the boat Tim and Mark parked up while Steve had to leave his bike hanging off the back of the ferry.
We slumped down for some food and looked out of the window to see a bunch of dolphins chasing us, Tim wanted to get his fishing rod out.
We took part in a pub quiz and scored quite badly but still ended up winning as we were the only team to take part! Our prize was some Brittany Ferry playing cards, but we were more pleased with actually winning something. Next up was a talk from Orca about dolphins and stuff. It was death by powerpoint and Steve and Mark dozed off. Tim doubted some of the guys facts and wanted to argue it out with them.
10 days of booze and crap food were catching up with us so we introduced a two deck rule for any trips to the loo. Let's just say that deck 10 is now off limits to anyone with a sensitive nose and leave it at that.
There was another cheese incident for tea when the stupid French chef forget that we didn't want any and then tried to fix it by scraping it off. Tim kicked off and we got some fresh burgers although they turned out to be more like cat food burgers in the end.
The nighttime entertainment consisted of another quiz, a sports quiz, a men vs women quiz, a quiz on the quizzes and then an impressions Quiz. The impressions were very bad, in fact most of them comprised of him saying the characters name as part of the impression?
It was then time for sleep as we were all struggling to keep our eyes open.
Writing this now, it's the following morning and after breakie there are three more quizzes before docking in a couple of hours. 1220 miles covered.
Thanks for reading!

Day 9 - smashed

We enjoyed a well earned lie in today. Mark and Steve then went to get breakfast. They found bacon sandwiches, and ordered 2 without cheese and one with. Back in the room they were chuffed with their findings and handed out the sandwiches. It turned out that all three had cheese and Tim had a little sulk.
While getting the breakfast they were approached by random drunk people. One came over to inform us that there would be no more rain while another asked if we were in Pamplona. Crazy town.
Some girls came to the apartment to inspect it and were surprised to find it quite clean and tidy. Luckily Tims room had just started to smell normal!
We thought it would be good to give the bikes a run so headed back to the pyrenees, this time without the luggage. We blasted along and stopped for some lunch. Tim ordered a burger without cheese obviously and of course it came with extra cheese, all those Spanish lessons have paid off. It's not really his fault though as the genius waiter couldn't even understand "Coca Cola".
We then jumped back onto the bikes and found that the police had set up some speed guns just where we'd been blasting it earlier, lucky escape!
We found a nice spot and did some videos of the bikes which we'll put on YouTube once we're home.
On the way home Tims radio fell off the bike meaning that we no longer had any comms. Mark found the radio later but we don't think that it's repairable.
Back in Pamplona we got changed for the mobile Hawaiin transvestite party held by the Posse. This involved free booze, beer bongs and drunk people, good times.
Mark and Tim went to the bull fight which was very odd. The whole bull fight thing comprised of 8 fights, but after the second one it pretty much descended into a big food fight. Two tips if you ever go.
1) don't sit in the sunny side, you will get wet.
2) don't sit next to any hot girls as people will throw buckets of booze over them.
We stayed for a couple more fights until we were soaked with sangria and went back to the Hawaiin party which was now just a party. Steve was quite drunk and was hanging out with some Scottish guys wearing kilts. Steve said that he could confirm that they were not wearing underwear. Tim and Mark wanted to go back to the bull fight!
We then had lots more drinks with the Posse and went to the park to watch tonight's fireworks. Tim somehow managed to sleep through them but this gave him enough life to stay out drinking for a couple of more hours.
We were quite smashed at this point and had found ourselves in a fairground that we didn't know existing. They did sell chicken though so got a load of those and pretended we were in Nandos. Steve put on an impromptu puppet show staring a prawn and then danced like he was in Swan Lake in front of a live band.
We met back up with the Posse and stumbled around until we decided it would be a good idea to find our way home. Tim got us all lost again, when we checked the map he had gone in the complete wrong direction, if he had have carried on, he'd probably be in Madrid by now.

Day 8 - Torros

We woke at the crack of dawn, it was the morning of the bull run. Soon we would be being chased by a dozen 100 stone, 35mph horned beasts.. We dressed in the traditional outfits and waited at the town hall with the other two thousand runners. After an hour a firework went off signifying that the bulls were out and swarms of people started to run in panic. We knew to stay still, to wait until they were close which didn't take long. In seconds they were here people around pushing and shoving, it was chaos. Most of the bulls flew past before you knew it but you had to keep running, there could be more. One came alongside and fell, a dangerous situation as they can get disorientated, luckily this one picked itself up and carried on. A few seconds later and the sprint had slowed but a glance over the shoulder showed another bull behind. Once it was passed we ran the rest of the course and into the bull ring, by this time they were in pens and people celebrated in the middle.
That wasn't it though, after a few minutes the entrance was closed and many of the runners had gone over the safety wall to safety. Tim and Mark however stayed for the next event. They would now let several baby bulls into the arena one at a time with rubber ends on the horns. These would then charge around trying to throw people up in the air whilst we had to see how close we could get. Mark got within about 2 foot but luckily had his running shoes on. Tim mainly pushed other people on the floor. One guy jumped onto the head of the bull, something very frowned upon. The crowd jeered like in a scene from gladiator and when he fell off he was kicked and punched by those around him for about a minute before being dragged off by the guards. Only in Spain is this legal!
Once that was over we needed breakfast so found somewhere quickly before they all filled up. We ordered some ham thing with bread which we found out came with a free bottle of wine. So at 8:50 that pretty much set up the rest of the day.
We roamed around the city for most of the day and stopped at midday to watch the drunks in the park. One was trying to play his guitar that didn't have any strings while another took about 10 minutes to stand up only to face plant the floor immediately after all without spilling a drop.
Wherever you go in Pamplona there are lookee lookee men trying to sell you hats, watches or sunglasses. Literally every 2mins one comes over. Mark got annoyed and told him that he was the 80th one and to go away, which prompted the lookee lookee man to call him a racist.
We met a few others had a some beers, Kieron thinks he is Ewan McGregor but is actually more like the guy from Police Academy who shouts everything.
Later while sat on some grass having a beer some old girls wanted their photos with us, we realised then that they thought we were the local drunks :)
In the evening we went to King Kebab to see if it was as good as back home, to be fair, it wasn't bad, but the true test would be how much toilet time it would produce.
We watched the fireworks again, this time we sat in the middle of a dual carriageway. We had a great view and the display was better, but we missed the sound from last night's courtyard. Towards the end I think Tim took control of them as they appeared to just get bored and let them all off at the same time.
On the way back to the apartment, Tim let off some fire crackers and smoke bombs that he'd brought without anyone knowing and got a few cheers from the locals.

Day 7 - Switchbacks

An early start with another great hotel breakfast. We left Biarritz following Tims directions that came with a guarantee that you can't get lost. However after literally one road we were stuffed.
We stopped at a war graveyard for some pics on the way out which proved to us that France did actually have an army.
The roads soon got good with some fast sweeping bends and traffic that jumped out of our way.
A quick pit stop for food was needed and Mark had his best meal of the holiday, sausages and chips.
We then found a bike shop to finally fixed Steve's bike it turns out that the chain lube we'd been using was cleaner! We would have been better taping a Greggs sausage roll to our chain.
It was then time to hit the Pyrenees which were the best roads ever. Lots of swichbacks with stunning views but also quite dangerous as Tim and Steve nearly went into an oncoming truck.
Unfortunately it had to end and we rocked up into Pamplona for the party.
We felt a little out of place as we walked to the apartment in our leathers sweating our tits off while literally everyone else was wearing white and red. We soon got changed and felt like we were dressed for cricket.
Buffalo Bill led us on a tour of the bull run course and scared us with stories of people getting gored. But we felt well prepared for the big event the next day.
After a few beers the party was in full swing and Mark got his hair set on fire by a man dressed in a bull outfit that fired fireworks at people.
We tried to get to the fireworks and successfully fought our way through the 83 brass bands that were competing for our ears in the narrow streets. When we did get there it was the best fireworks show ever, loads of massive fireworks exploding around the buildings which deafened us. They do this every night so no wonder Spain is broke.
We had an early 1am finish as we had to be up at 6am for the run.

Day 6

Steve woke up to a hangover that he couldn't explain and it was only when Mark reminded him that he'd drunk beer, wine, mojitos and rum that he found it was justified. Mark and Steve went to Tims room to get him only to find it a health hazard to enter, and we feared for the maid unless she has a hazmat suit.
We had prepaid for breakfast in the hotel between us this was 27 euros, imagine what sort of awesome food we were expecting for that! So we were a little disappointed when we got half a baguette and two croissants between 3 of us and a thimble of oj each. You don't even get a plate.
Now that we were full we had a good walk around town including going out to see a lighthouse and finding a pub that also sells knives.
The Roxy women's world surfing championships were on, but our timing wasn't so world class as they were just packing up as we arrived.
We set about looking for lunch and Tim has now reviewed all 189 restaurants in Biarritz. We settled for a nice beach bar and grabbed some burgers. We didn't leave a tip and this came back to bite us later as Tim had left his hoodie there which the staff later denied.
On the night we went back to the bar that serves out of the front windows and got talking to the Biarritz rugby team (past and present). The one guy looked like Del Bosque of international football fame. Whilst talking to him we found some money on the floor so we brought some drinks for everyone including ourselves of course. One of the rugby players shook our hands and mostly crushed them in the process, we found out that his name was 'so so' but we thought it best not to tell him that this translated to 'a bit shit'.
Steak and ribs for tea before a subdued night out which included watching the sunset from the top of the Radisson and then we navigated home using Mark's glowing red neck.

Day 5 - The long ride

It was always going to be a tough ride today with Google saying 8 hours journey time not including any stops or getting lost.
Several seconds after leaving we got lost, something that would happen a lot. It was also raining quite a lot and Mark had lost one of the radios.
It stopped raining fairly soon and the roads dried out letting us make up some time and then we found the D145, a 30km stretch of breathtaking B road which was devoid of cars and had some great corners. There were fields of sunflowers and vineyards lining the roads. The only snag was that at one point just around a blind corner there was half a ton of gravel across the road!
We had some grub in a small town, although they served us the biggest pizzas ever.
Back on the bikes Steve then spotted a giant eagle and thought it was going to eat mark, it should have had one of our pizzas instead.
Within the next hour there was a knocking noise from Steve's bike so we spent a while trying to figure that out while the temperatures steadily rose to a little over 30c.
We never did find out what the knocking noise was but we carried on regardless and soon had to stop for a drink to cool off. At this point after nearly 6 hours riding we were about half way so we opted to scrap our 'no motorway' policy and just gun it to Biarritz.
We made good time even when we went through a hail storm and we were quite brutal with our filtering.
We eventually arrived after about 10 hours on the road including stops for rests, drinks and tolls.
Biarritz is quite a fun lively town with the bars all heaving and the people friendly. One bar is like someone has converted their lounge into a pub and they serve beer out of the front windows while playing the Dire Straights album in the background.
For dinner Steve managed to have another great meal, Mark had another pizza (still can't understand the menus) and Tim had a duck.
It was here that we found out that Tim has a goldfish memory as he couldn't even remember going to Vannes just two days ago and refused to believe we had gone there until shown photographic evidence.
A few bars later and Tim and Steve were drinking home made rum as recommended from a now very happy bar man. On the way back to the hotel we stopped off for one more drink only to realise that it was a gay bar, time for a cool sharp Harp!

Day 3 - La Rochelle

The day started with a difficult choice; €15 for cornflakes & toast in the hotel or go to the local cake shop - guess which won?

We then embarked on the journey to La Rochelle, the trip that we all forgot to arrange, strange since we've only being planing the trip for 6 months - we blamed Steve for this mishap when he was out of earshot. Two things soon became very apparent 1) there's a reason that Mark does't take the lead on rides after almost causing a crash after 10 seconds & 2) the French don't get the concept of road signs, they don't show the road that your on & don't tell you where to go so pretty much useless. The Speculation on this is that it's preparation for when the Germans invade next, anyway needless to say we got lost a lot. A 3 hour journey took around 8 but was worth it with the stunning country roads.  On one occasion we ended up on a ferry to traverse a river that we didn't want to cross.

Elsewhere on the journey we had difficulty finding food (Tim needs regular feeding to avoid having a tantrum), one place gave us menus then when we ordered said that the kitchen was closed! We ended up having Galattes which are like a burnt Crepe so not that good, who said French cuisine is the best? Also we stumbled across a wicked beach with static kites in the shape of witches, Super Ted & other random characters...

The Biking report is excellent with fantastic country roads so maybe getting lost is a good thing!

La Rochelle seems great, lovely harbour, great bars which close @ 7am& amazing food. Good job we're here for a couple of days!

Random award of the day is the brick house that we saw in the middle of a river.

Special moment of the day goes to Steve for saying 'let's head for the harbour, you'll know it because that's where the boats are parked' - duh!

Day 4 - losing count already

Woke up in sunny Last Rochelle and had our normal cake breakfast. Mark has turned French and just had a French stick. Afterwards we roamed around the town checking out the shops and markets while avoiding the dogshit that lines the streets.
We stopped for lunch and Steve and Tim had salads (although Tim said that he would deny this later), while Mark had chocolate crepes. We climbed up the fort and one guide told us that it was built to keep the British out...  Well in that case it was rubbish as we'd walked straight in!
Later we had a game of mini golf where Steve got quite competitive and had a PGA official on the phone every time Tim played a shot to ensure he wasn't cheating. At one point he was seen counting the dimples on the balls to ensure that they complied. Mark could only hit the ball as hard as possible which isn't the best on most holes. Steve was later seen ordering his winners trophy on ebay.
Following the La Rochelle open we headed to the beach and sat around until the rain turned up. On the way back to the hotel Mark found a sweet stall that sold extra large giant cables and brought enough for the guy to pack up his stall and head home.
As we wandered around the town we noticed a guy dressed like a Ghostbuster who's sole job is to ride around on a scooter cleaning up dogshut, boy that guy has his work cut out.
We went out quite early and grabbed some cocktails
Later at the restaurant Tim got up to look at a picture of some food and spilled his drink all over his ipad, he wasn't concerned though and carried on drooling as Steve and Mark tried to clean it up. If this wasn't enough, the next time he got up he knocked over his empty glass and smashed it.
Steve had taken out some superglue to fix his flip flops and later at the bar he got his phone out and realised that the glue had leaked all over it, so now it is permanently stuck to the side of his head.

Day Two

<p>"the ferry will focus in one hour please depart your rooms", bit of a rude way to wake us up Frenchie. Anyway we struggled to get ready in our matchbox room especially Tim who for some reason had unpacked his entire luggage and then had a strop when he couldn't find anything. <br>
Once we docked we headed out and was stopped by security although it turns out this was just so that they could ask Steve about his bike.<br>
Once in the town we roamed around to find some breakfast but nowhere opened until 9:30,Tim had another strop and we ended up having some cake, not a bad result! <br>
On the road we headed to Dinan but the rain ruined any chance of a nice ride. Dinan was a nice place, very picturesque and after a look around and getting more wet we left for plgfchkyt (we don't know what it was called). Here we stopped for noms and found that there are about a million stray dogs roaming around the place. The sun came out and we managed to dry our things out a bit before heading out towards Vannes.<br>
Mark turned on data roaming on his phone and after 2 mins received 4 texts. The first said thanks for roaming we will tell you when you have spent 2 pounds. The second said that you have spent 2 pounds, the third said that you have spent 7 pounds and the forth said that you have spent 12 pounds. At this point Mark turned off data roaming!
Apparently it's quite easy to get lost in France, in fact we did this quite a lot including going the wrong way down a motorway slip road and then Steve put the hammer down by pulling off some crazy moves through traffic. <br>
We eventually arrived and checked in before heading out for a quiet beer... After a few quiet beers we started looking for somewhere to eat, a task that would eventually take us 3 hours. The problem was that we had no clue what the menus say, so we'd go to the next place, then every 10mins someone would need the loo so we would go to a bar to use the 'wc'&#160; but would then have to buy a beer there too. After 3hours we went back to the first place we looked at and had a bunch of steaks. <br>
Back to the room now, sleep is needed.

On our way

The journey started well, Mark and Tim left to meet Steve at the petrol station. Unfortunately when he rocked up his luggage was already falling off, probably because he brought his bungee straps from pound land and they looked more like elastic bands!
After bodging it back together we headed towards Portsmouth on a typical English summer's day. That's right, it pissed it down.
After a couple of hours we were soaked through but pretty close to the port, Tim however, needed the loo so he took the lead and tried to find somewhere to stop. Obviously the best place to find a toilet is a local council estate of which we went to several of. After a while he found a wall and ran around the corner only to find a giant Tesco. Problem solved.
After a quick KFC (Steve's first ever) we boarded the ferry. Steve managed to get his bag run over whilst unloading so we hurried off deck to the luxury accommodation.

As it happens, shoe boxes are slightly larger than ferry cabins. It's so small that we had to take it in turns going in there. Luckily we needed beers so we went on a pub crawl around the boat. We would have stayed in the main bar except there was a husband and wife entertainment squad on the stage. This however was nothing compared to the white James Brown tribute act that came on later. We ended up in the yaught club after we'd found Tim again who got lost every time he went somewhere on his own.

Pamplona Trip - Prologue

Today is the start of another holiday, and as normal I'll be posting about it right here.
This trip is with Tim and Steve and sees us motorbiking it through France, down the west coast and into Spain. Once in Spain we head to Pamplona for the San Fermin festival aka The Running With The Bulls. For those of you who haven't heard of this, take a look here:

Once we've finished getting new 'speed holes' we head to Santander and get the ferry back to Blighty.


Although France is only a stones throw away (although I'll be careful not to throw any stones, wouldn't want them surrendering again), it's been a few years since I've been there and my knowledge of the language extends to a couple of swear words and 'chips'. All sorted then.


The bikes we're taking aren't exactly suited to 10 days travelling as all three are sports bikes which have about 2cm of luggage space. It's fair to say that we've had to improvise a little with our baggage!


The bikes we have are an MV Augusta F4 (Steve), Suzuki GSXR 750 (Timmah) and a KTM RC8 (Mark). Stay tuned to the blog for stories, pics and maybe the odd video, see you all on Friday 13th!