Heading home part 1

Today we were to start our journey home. We're planning to get as far as Carlisle today, so at least we'd be back in Blighty by nightfall.
We finally got to have breakfast in the pub, and a mighty fine breakfast it was, which included sliced sausage which was square and came with unlimited toast. Om nom nom.

We then decided to go souvenir shopping so went to the gift shop. It turns out that the gift shop doesn't sell gifts and they sent us to the knitting shop which did. Scotland is strange.

We started our journey south off of Skye which was pretty uneventful and we were soon onto mainland Scotland. We stopped several times for photos and got stuck behind a slow moving Nissan Micra. As we were stuck behind them, we decided to pull in and take more photos, but it turns out that they had the same idea too. It was now a race, which car could stop, take a photo and leave first. Martin dived out of our car, charged across the road and down the bank on the other side to get the best angle. Alonso in the car in front opted for a car side photo which was quicker but not so good. This meant martin had to cover twice the ground and was scrambling over the roadside bank. Mark and Stuart could feel the tension, and disaster nearly struck as the Golf's stop start technology cut the engine. Martin dashed back to the car having to go the long way back around to the passenger side meaning it was neck and neck as Alonso hopped back into the Nissan. Under instruction from team boss Stuart, Mark fired up the engine and threw it into gear, we were going to make it. Disaster struck again, the stupid auto handbrake wouldn't disengage! Mark had no choice but to go, we'd have to deal with the consequences later. The throttle was buried, both cars lurched forward, stones flying up behind and front wheels fighting for grip. By the end of the lay by we were in the lead, we'd done it, Alonso would have to settle for second! Screw you Alonso.

With victory well behind us we later stopped for lunch. We decided to avoid the lovely picnic stops, the ones that are sheltered, have toilets, benches and litter bins. Instead we sat on a cold wall running through Glencoe as an icy blast froze our hands and horizontal snow battered our faces. Needless to say the second half of our lunch was ate in the car.

We soon warmed up again and were racking up the miles. Upon approaching Glasgow, Martin double checked the fuel usage stats to determine how much fuel we needed to get in order to return the car on empty.  At which point he commented that by coincidence we would be empty only 20 miles short of Carlisle. "Mission Accepted" declared mark,  dropping the speed to double digits for the first time and entering fuel conservation mode.  This confused the car computer somewhat as it adjusted to this strange behaviour.  Headlights turned off,  heating denied to the passenger's,  the new ultra conservative mode was soon showing dividends. Carlisle was reached with 20 miles of fuel still aboard,  job done.  Or was it.!
Appatently the mission was to the hotel.  So be it. We cruised into town at rush hour and struggled our way around the one way system which Google Maps refused to recognise. We found the hotel just as the computer said that we had 0 miles left. But it wasn't so easy, getting to the hotel car park meant another lap around the one way loop, but Stuart had found a shortcut. Mark followed instructions to turn right although most of Carlisle blasted their horns at this and waved their hands in the air like they just didn't care. On reflection it was a no-right-turn but no animals or kids were hurt and we didn't get arrested so we figured that the locals just like a bit of drama.

We had a couple of subdued beers on the evening and hit a few games of pool, for some reason they use 4 white balls here. To finish the night off we watched Jack the Giant Slayer, we all thought it was okay, but as usual, picked it apart as some bits were unrealistic, who'd have thought.